LOVE – the greatest risk of all

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On the 2nd of June, 2010 I broke up a 2 years and 4 months old relationship with my fiancé. Over what? That I should have called even though I had sent her a text message after she informed me that she wouldn’t be coming over for the weekend. What you all might want to call another trivia matter turned into a classical case of love gone sour! Was I hurt? Hell yes! It does hurt very very much. Do I regret it? Not really, rather I have chosen to learn from it. Without it, you wouldn’t be reading this.

Will I love again? ABSOLUTELY! The truth is this, love like most other important things in life is a principle and principles never fail nor change; we humans do. Never blame the principle when things go wrong, blame the people. It’s one of two things; it’s either the right principle is being applied on the wrong person or situation or the wrong principle is being applied on the right person or situation. In either case, the principle remains constant but the people made the mistakes. Principles don’t change, people do! The break up didn’t teach me to give up on love; rather it made me realize its inherent power and now I’m in search of the right person so we can both explore and reap the endless rewards of the greatest risk of all; LOVE!

What really is this thing called love anyway?

In a very simple term, love is giving someone else your heart totally unprotected AND hoping they will do something nice with it other than smashing it! Nothing more to it really. Sometimes we just want to make it into something big in order to justify our fear of it. The key word in love is the word belief. Looking over my definition you will clearly see the word ‘hoping’ which comes after the conjunction ‘and’ at the beginning of the phrase “they will do something nice with it other than smashing it!” Love really is nothing other than believing the best will come out of something you literally have no control over; the mind of another human being. Because of our incapacity to control the mind of another human being, love is but a risk.

Perhaps the greatest risk of all. Why? Because it is one risk that deeply touches where hurts the most, our heart; and our heart is the critical source of our lives. Whatever is capable of affecting our heart can in every way affect our lives. We all are fundamentally emotional beings and much more than we would like to admit, we wish above every other thing else to love and be loved. We all seek a heart to hold and call our own. It’s the way we have been configured by God. Even God couldn’t resist this risk called love; HE had to send HIS only son to die for us all.

The crazy thing about this risk called love is that unlike every other thing else in life that we’ve all been given the power to control, love is an exception. When you are in love it is like you’ve handed over the keys to your life to the other person and vice versa. It’s more like surrendering to the will and control of another. Why? Because you’ve handed over your heart to the person you love and therein lies the greatest risk of all; the risk of being hurt where it hurts the most.

We’ve all, one way or another been able to master most areas of our lives. Somehow we’ve been able to relate with the outside world with our hearts guarded or protected with a strong shield against any emotional danger. This more often times than we might want to admit is not always the case when we are in love with someone else. Somehow being in love means letting the protective shields down and once the guards are down we are vulnerable to harm. And that my friend is why love SUCKS!

Why? Because in life you never know for sure the true nature of whom you are letting your guards down for. People do really change. Trust me when I say this, I have been there. You never can tell or even imagine what the human mind is capable of doing. You would be amazed at what sudden changes can take place once the love shared by two people disappears. I’m telling you, you really don’t want to know!

So the thing about love is that it has both the potentials to build and to destroy. The difference is a question of the character of the persons involved. Love can make you and it can break you. The outcome is often unknown because it is mostly out of our control. It’s in the hands of those we’ve fallen in love with. So what then do we do or wherein lies the remedy?

We BELIEVE!

We believe in the principle and not the person. We put our trust in the power of love and not in the personality or character of the one we love. Love is a risk whose outcome is rarely predictable not because of the uncertainty of the principle, but because of the vulnerability of those involved. Our only chance of survival is FAITH. We believe the possibility of something good and worthwhile even though we have no certain proof of what the outcome will turn out to be. We hold on to faith. We risk because it’s worth it.

We believe because love is supernatural. We trust with our heart because our eyes are blind. We do our best and leave the rest. We hope because in life nothing is absolutely sure or certain, not even love. We don’t choose not to love so that we wouldn’t get hurt; we love because it is the right thing to do even though we know there’s a possibility of us getting hurt. We love because our lives will be better off with love than without it. The fact that people love wrongly is not enough excuse to give up on love. We must never give up on love.

The problem is not love but the ones in love. Once we give up on love we become heartless and therefore have relinquished our right to be called humans; we become animals instead. Love is our right to live as humans, we cease to be humans the moment we begin to avoid it. We must never give up on a principle just because many have abused its power. We must always strive to stand up for what is right only then can the true power of a principle come alive. Principles are generally dormant until rightfully applied by we humans.

No one would have realized the enormous power in the principle of gravity until Albert Einstein discovered and rightfully applied it. The same is true of the principle of aerodynamics; who could ever imagine that we humans could one day fly? The truth is this, until we are willing to believe and take the risk despite our fears we might never experience the enormous power of a principle rightfully applied!

I have loved and I have been hurt but that doesn’t mean I will give up on love. Rather than live in perpetual fear with someone I do not love, I will rather risk it all to be in the arms of someone I love even though I stand a chance of getting hurt. I will not let the fear of the unknown keep me from reaching out for love. I will try even though it might hurt. Why? Because anything and everything worthwhile in life is worth giving a try. You would be sorry if you did otherwise. My name is Tito Philips, Jnr. And I am sending out this to all those who believe in love; hang on, the best is yet to come!!!

Comments

  1. dejiarogbokun says:

    Tito you have applied the right principle on the wrong person or may be you applied wrong principle on the right person. well there are alot of right people you can applied the same principle(wrong or right).

    keep searching you will surely see.

  2. Men…this came @ a gud time…. was discussing with a friend recently… and this matter came up… naturally not one to take d love risk… but was told d same things in ur right up. guess its God’s way of saying… u gatta give it anoda chance…. it could hurt… it might not… but all the same take the risk… after all likw u mentioned God took the risk to… some have accepted and some havent and am sure it hurts Him.. thanks….